More fun with the fish tank

First Scooter footage.

First Movie

Brushing off the Will of God?

Blaming a bird, Dana Perino claimed the crap meant "good luck". However, sources present at the incident say a single bird, working alone, could not have pulled it off. Furthermore, no bird is in custody and no charges have been filed.

I say, until they can produce this alleged bird, we should assume that God crapped on him. It sounds like good, Bush Administration, science to me. Things don't just fall from the sky in Bush's universe. Except: artillery, frogs, locusts, precipitation, birds, lightning, rocks (meteors and other) and, occasionally some unfortunate airplane, and it's crew members/passengers. Many of these are regularly attributed to God and few are considered good luck. (Moderate precipitation being a notable exception.)

Why wouldn't crap follow the same rules? Even if a bird did crap on him; is it not probable that God directed the bird to crap there? I think God has given a sign but, as is His want, He has left it to us to interpret it. Mr. Bush's camp claims it's good luck. It's their right to interpret a sign as they see fit. I Believe it's a sign that something greater, and more mysterious, than Man has cast It's vote.

TOP SECRET

From the Office of Stuff-n-Nonsense
Subject:One of our smart-clots has done been evolved!

Danger! One, or more, of the programmable, semi-intelligent, blood clots ( Smart-Clots), which were developed for “Project Sudden Hemorrhage”, are missing and presumed under control of Liberals, Terrorists, or Satan.

One of these renegade smart-clots has shown up in Pre.., I mean, Vice President Cheney. According to Secret Documents, which may or may not ever be available for review, this smart-clot threatened to invade Dick's brain if he continued to threaten Iran. Disturbingly, he actually ceased to threaten Iran, for several hours, while Doctors, and Preachers, decided what to do.

Our best “docs” were able to secretly remove the smart-clot and retain it for study. They have concluded that it “evolved”. Due to the infallibility of the Bible this conclusion is, as any Preacher can tell you, entirely impossible.

What we Believe, to be True, is: Evil forces (Liberals, Terrorists and/or Satan) stole Our smart-clots and, through black magic, “evolved” it on us. Then, one of their Evil Minions injected Saint Cheney! Or, perhaps they added it to one of his “blood meals” (see: Vampire or Mosquito).

While we still have a quantity of smart-clots available for their intended, Holy, purpose of “counseling” those about to give damning testimony; we don't know how many They have, Who They are or, where They will strike next.

One bit of good news. The stolen smart-clots don't appear to include the enhanced “memory sweeper” model as used on Al Gonzales. Of course, the Forces of Evil may be able to employ their magic to develop new “evolutions” we can't dream of.

NOTE: Do NOT share this document with the President. He would, only, use it to further his campaign for brain removal. I can hear him now:

“Nowadays. They got these blood clots. They can form anywhere but, if they break loose, they go to your brain and you die. If we remove our brains; blood clots can't kill us!”

Walz into Iraq

It has been said that it "takes two to tango". Perhaps it should read, "You need a barn full of hicks for a hoedown".

Sure seems like our barn is full

Rudy's brain

Following the lead of our President, presidential hopeful "Rudy" Jewliani (if that is his real name) announced his plans to remove his own brain. "No matter how much I hit it, my brain keeps thinking things and forcing my mouth to say them". "If I want to retain the support of anyone, I have to stop saying the things my brain cooks up". "I'm sick of it". "It's time for us to part ways".

A spokesman for Rudy's brain said, "While Mr Giiuliianii's brain (if that is his real name) respects the Mayor's right to have it removed, it finds the idea of brain removal reprehensible". "The government should pronounce it's scorn for such actions; while not supporting those who support, or fail to support, legislation that would permit, enable, prohibit, dissuade, inform, influence or, fail to do any of these things; regarding such an important personal decision that carries such wide ranging social implications".

Mr. Giulliannie (if that is his real name) was heard to say, "See what I mean"? when he heard his brain's remarks. "I've got to find out what movie George was talking about". "I can't get rid of this parasite soon enough". "I'm ready to shoot it".