Jerry's first interview; IN HELL

Satan: Well, Reverend Falwell now that you've had a couple days to settle in; What do you think of Hell, so far?

Jerry: I'm not here. Hell isn't real. I'm not here...

Satan: Whoa. Steady there, Jerry. Look at me. LOOK AT ME AND LISTEN! You are here, and this is real. You should know. You helped create Hell.

Jerry: Bu..Bu.. But, Jesus Loves me.

Satan: (laughs) It's funny you should mention “The Love of Jesus”. I was going to save this for later but... We have a surprise guest with us on speaker phone.

Surprise guest, can you hear me?

Guest: I hear you fine Satan, I'm glad you could take my call.

Satan: Always happy to hear from YOU. Reverend Falwell, may I introduce you to our other guest. Reverend Falwell, say hello to: The Son of God. Prince of Heaven. Savior of Man. Jesus Christ Himself.

Jerry: Ju... Ju...

Satan: That's right Jerry. After all these years, you finally get your chance to speak to Jesus and hear His WORD.

Jesus: I would like to jump in here, if I may.

Satan: Go ahead J.C. You have the floor.

Jesus: JERRY! Can you hear me?

Jerry: Yuh... (muttering)

Jesus: Good! Now pay attention! What the Hell were you thinking? You totally misrepresented everything I stand for. Do you have any idea how much damage you did? Do you realize that you have, personally, delayed my Second coming indefinitely? You stupid, greedy, crazy bastard; how can The Earth become a paradise with your sickness spreading? I could be stuck, living at my Dad's place, FOREVER? Do you have any idea how much I hate you? You stupid, hateful, bloated sack of s...

Satan: Sorry. We seem to be having some trouble with our connection to Jesus. Hope we can get him back.

Well. Reverend Falwell. There you have it. Jesus hates you. Hell is real. You are, most assuredly, here. What's your excuse?

Jerry: Ahhhh!!! Ahhhh!!! ...

Satan: Well folks. It seems that Reverend Falwell is indisposed. Perhaps we can continue another day? I certainly look forward to it.

Next. Join us for some candid conversation with Oliver Cromwell right here on WHEL. Hell Radio at 666 on your AM dial. Ollie's up, right after these important messages.